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Team Fantasy Writing

We take turns writting a story, we all read! Jonathan, John, and Guinea Gal are our featured writers. John has finally completed his debut! Now sit back, and relax as they weave you a wonderous tale of swords and destiny.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Off to be a Soldier

The Quartermaster and his escort/recruiters came trotting up. Two men broke off from the main party. They trotted up to Natel. The leader gruffly said, "What's yer name boy? Don't even think about lying to me because this is a small town and I can find out elsewhere if I have to." The scrutinizing the two horsemen Natel eyed their full armor and steel lances before replying.

"I am called Natel jo'Revoh," was the reply. The leader pulled a small stack of papers and, removing his gauntlets, rifled through them until he found the one he wanted. Then he pulled his horse over next to him and shoved the paper towards Natel saying "you do read, boy?" Indignant Natel snatched the page from him knowing what it was. One glance at the Lord General's seal assured him that it was an enlistment notice. Natel struggled through the words and made out his name and after some difficulty finished reading the letter. It said:

By order of His Majesty, Guardian of the Crown of Marovia, King Damian has proclaimed that all young men, having attained the age of 17 or greater must be enlisted into his service and made into soldiers of Marovia in order to preserve, protect, and expand the influence and power of Marovia. It is therefore your duty, having attained the age of 17 years, to leave friends and family and learn the arts of war at the great fortress of Chiriath Mul. Your name has come up in the rosters and if you have not arrived by the first snows or with the recruiters you shall be considered a deserter. You, Natel jo'Revoh, now have a chance to distingiush yourself before the kingdom of Marovia and prove your skill in battle.

The lead horseman grunted as Natel folded up the letter and as he and his man wheeled off to rejoin the main group he called back "I would keep that letter safe if I were you. It is your pass and you'll need it." Grumbling Natel set about finishing his tasks and then trekked home. He saw other farmers trudging home exhausted with hopeless expressions now that the quartermaster was here for his taxes. Spotting his good friend, Dylan, Natel trotted over to him wearily. Dylan was shorter than most boys his age but was corded with muscle. Hard work had removed any fat from his body and he was quite capable of taking care of himself in any brawl. Dylan also gripped a paper in his hand. Haunted eyes swung toward Natel and then recognition. "Did they get you too, Nat?" Nat nodded. Dylan's brother had disappeared two years ago after leaving for his basic training. No one knew what had happened only that he had gone through his training and was almost done and then disappeared. If anyone had reason to fear this summons it was Dyl. Natel felt he could survive anything they could dish out. In battle that is where he was not sure what could happen. He clapped Dyl on the back with a wiry hand and said, "Hey don't worry Dyl. Between you and me, we can take anything they throw at us. Just like when we took those showoffs from Terrion Creek Town." Dyl smiled at the memory. They had both taken on 5 toughs from Terrion Creek, a nearby village, and won a desperate brawl with only a few bruises. The toughs had actually jumped them on their way home and being trapped Nat and Dyl had trounced them.

That night Nat slept little and in the morning the Quartermaster began collecting taxes. The week went by all too fast and then they were off to visit other villages and finally to the basic training for raw recruits. Each of the new recruits were required to take a bow and quiver of arrows. then set off. It was a bright fall day but Nat didn't feel happy. No leaving house and home was not going to be great. It was the opposite of what he wanted. He had to take care of his mother. Only he couldn't. At least Old Jalad Filton had agreed to take care of Nat's mother. But he was nearly 60 and getting too old to work the fields. Nat WOULD return to take care of my mother. He had to. As the small troop left Nat took one last look at his village. His home. He memorized that picture before the trees hid it from his view. He was now off to be a soldier.

1 Comments:

At 8:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice story Jonathan. I'm really enjoying it. With a little practice you could do this professionally. Do you mind a little critique? I was just wondering why you had your story set in third person and then all of a sudden switched to first person in the last paragraph. Is that a normal thing in the books you have been reading? Also, I thought the pronunciation guides could be helpful but a little distractive for me. I usually pronounce the names however I want in my head even if it doesn't match what the author wants. I guess in books the suggested pronunciation would be a footnote and I suppose you can't use footnotes here.
All in all it is a very good start and I look forward to reading more. I am interested in seeing how John takes the story and twists it on you. :-)

 

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